Rotisserie Chicken and an ode to wild garlic...

Two posts in as many days is a lot for me and I'm certainly not looking to make a habit of it but I wanted to get this recipe down and also evangelise a little in a slightly Hugh Fearnly-Whittingstall manner, as dirty as it makes me feel.

Your name is stupid

Firstly I'm incredibly lucky in that when I moved into my flat last year it had 2 ovens. As it turned out the old one that was slightly falling apart had a rotisserie feature. I wont lie. This caused some mild arousal.

This was the first image that came up when I googled Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall aroused. I am saying nothing.

Secondly I've been wanting to blog for a little while about wild garlic. Where I'm from in Somerset between March and May there is a fantastic amount of the stuff and it really is one of the best ingredients in the country, especially considering its relative abundance around bridle ways and old droving lanes in the South West. The late spring this year meant that when I went home a couple of weeks ago there it was still in full swing. I'm also going back next weekend and if I'm lucky it wont have gone over. I even managed to dig up a few bulbs to plant in my own, incredibly sheltered and sunlight free garden. This is usually a curse but wild garlic loves these conditions. And yes I know its frowned upon, even a little illegal to pick wild flowers but come on. This shit is EVERYFUCKINGWHERE.

Pictured: Wild Garlic EVERYFUCKINGWHERE

In short no one is going to miss a bulb or 2. 

The other great thing about it (apart from its relative abundance) is that you can use the whole plant. The leaves are great in salads, or chopped up into a risotto. The stems are great for dressings or as a milder substitute for garlic bulbs. I used it in a variety of things over the past 2 weeks but in order to preserve it I also dried it, on a low heat in the over for several hours, before grinding it up and storing it in an empty herb shaker. I also made some fantastic wild garlic and thyme butter, which I did by chopping it in the food processor with some fresh thyme and soft butter. I then made it into a log, wrapped it in baking paper and froze it. 

That brings us neatly on to the recipe. Incidentally shortly after I started writing this I realised it's impossible to describe preparing a chicken without it becoming weird. I suggest putting on some Marvin Gaye to balance the mood.

Ingredients

1 Whole Chicken

Garlic Butter (you can also make this by mixing a few garlic cloves and herbs, thyme and rosemary being the most common choice, with butter)

A rub for the skin made of ground salt, pepper, garlic granules, thyme and some paprika for colour.

5 or 6 halved shallots and 3 or 4 garlic cloves to go inside the chicken

Vegetable oil

Method

Firstly you're going to have to get slightly more intimate with a chicken than a lot of people like to. Not quite Hugh FW levels of intimate but still...

Pull the skin at the neck or arse end (ladies choice) away from the flesh on the breasts so that you can get a few fingers between the skin and the meat. Then get some of that garlic butter in and really spread it out. If you get it under the skin in one blob you can usually massage the skin to spread it out if you're too squeamish to get right in there. But then you are massaging a dead chicken. You fucking perv.

As well as helping you to explore some of the darker corners of your sexuality the butter will also help the skin to crisp from underneath as well as keeping the meat moist. Please stop me if you feel faint Mary Whitehouse.

Make a small slit at the top of each thigh and do the same as you did with the breasts.

Take a long shower if this has gotten too weird for you.

Insert the shallots and garlic bulbs into the chicken, the arse end will give you best access. 

Take another shower.

Rub the skin with the rub, all over, you might as well now you've done worse. Leave it for half an hour to let the skin dry and so you can think about what you've done.

Now you'll need to insert the spit. Make sure the blades dig into the breasts at the top end as deeply as possible, it will probably slip when its cooking and you'll have to adjust it but the deeper it gets into the flesh the less often you'll have to do it. I also recommend tying the legs and wings tightly to the body. If they flop around while it rotates it will come loose. Now drizzle it with oil and fit it into the oven.

Have another shower.

Switch on the grill at a high to medium heat and start it rotating. You can pretty much leave it to it now for about 2-3hours, coming back to baste it every 15-20minutes. 

I have to confess I actually left it too long this evening as I was distracted by alcohol and the veg and it started falling apart a little. Still when it's done you should be left with some lovely, tasty, crispy skin and tasty herby/garlicy meat.

I'm off for another shower. But finally a beautiful shot of my old walk to the pub in the middle of spring. Covered in wild garlic.

Everyone knows General Tso's Chicken...

Apologies to South Park for ripping off their joke (as I did with Archer in my last post, I sense a pattern).

Anyway this is a slightly modified version of the classic General Tso recipe, as Bacon doesn't like anything too spicy, so this is a milder version that's a bit more of a sweet and sour recipe. It's also a lot more complicated than other recipes I've posted on here so I wouldn't dive into this one if you're a novice. It involves a lot of different cooking techniques and a lot of tasting.

This is the first recipe I ever wrote down. Unfortunately I lost it, which is what persuaded me to create this blog. If the internet looks after it for me then I don't have to worry. Thanks internet. Thinternet.

BUY THESE THINGS TO MAKE YUMMY FOOD

FOR THE CHICKEN
Chicken (breasts or thighs, I used breasts tonight and 2 is probably enough for 2 people)
Eggs (1 egg for 2 chicken breasts)
Tonic Water
Cornflour
Ground Star anise, Coriander, Mustard seeds & ginger (I also like a little ground cinnamon in it)*
Onion Salt, Garlic Granules, paprika, Salt & Pepper*

Incidentally if Asda feel like sponsoring a blog I'm poor and apparently am advertising their shit for free.

*Alternatively you can use one of these seasoning mixes and 5 spice

And a LOT of vegetable oil. Get one of the big bottles, you can reuse the oil after you use it. 

FOR THE SAUCE
Spring Onions
Granulated Sugar
Tomato Puree
Umami Paste (this stuff is great, but a bit of lea and perrins and/or fish sauce will also do the job, however this might leave the sauce a little thin so you may want some cornflour to thicken)
Rice Vinegar
Chinkiang Vinegar (this is also really good for chinese sauces, keep an eye out for it)
Soy Sauce
white wine
Minced Garlic (4 cloves)
Minced Ginger
Tomato Ketchup (this is a massive, but useful cheat)

Also veg. A carrot, half an onion and a red pepper will probably do it. I'm also incredibly fond of Chinese stir fry veg. In particular water chestnuts. I also used baby sweetcorn tonight.

FOR THE EGG FRIED RICE
Rice (I use brown rice for everything but white rice is stickier and probably better for this)
1 egg
Spring onions
Frozen peas

Follow these instructions

You'll probably want to start by cooking the rice. The reason for this is that the colder and dryer it is when you come to stir fry it the better the rice will crisp up and that's what you're aiming for. If you like do it the night before and put it in the fridge.

Next the sauce. Finely chop the onions and mince the garlic and ginger. Pour about 1/4 cup of granulated into a bowl. Chuck in the onions, garlic and ginger and about 2 tablespoons of tomato puree and 2 teaspoons of umami paste. Add a generous splash of rice vinegar, a small splash of chinkiang vinegar and soy sauce and about half a glass of white wine. Mix it all up. It should taste pretty damn good already. But you might need to bulk it out a little and the tomato ketchup does this job well and keeps the consistency about right. About 2 or 3 tablespoons should be enough.

Now set the sauce to one side. Chop the chicken into 1-2 inch cubes. Put them to one side as well while you make the batter. Put about a cup and a half of cornflour into a bowl along with the seasoning. Beat in an egg and gradually add the tonic water a little at the time until you have a relatively smooth batter that is thick enough to cling to the chicken. Add the chicken and coat it evenly.

Get a wok and half fill it with vegetable oil. If you've got a deep fat fryer that's great and you should probably turn it on. And then go and have a good think about why you've got a fucking deep fat fryer in your fucking house. Normal people can put the wok on a high heat. Be careful because cooking with hot oil in these volumes is a bit on the dodgy side.

Once the oil is hot you can start adding the chicken. Fry for about 2 minutes in small batches of 5 or so pieces. With each batch you might want to check one to see how its cooked and then adjust cooking times accordingly depending on your kit etc. Once fried place the chicken on kitchen towel to absorb as much excess oil as possible. While you're frying the chicken you can also prepare the veg.
Once it's all fried you may find you have some excess batter. I chopped up the other half of the onion, added some more plain flour to the batter to thicken it and made some onion pakoras (or bhajis as they're usually known although I'm lead to believe this is incorrect terminology).

with the baconators xmas chutney that she made for hampers last year

Get another wok or large pan and heat up a splash of oil and start frying the veg. Once the onion has softened add the chicken and the sauce. Set on a low heat with a lid on it and simmer it. 

Now for the egg fried rice. Beat an egg with a splash of soy sauce. Microwave the peas for a couple of minutes until cooked and chop up a couple of spring onions. Get another Wok (I don't imagine you have 3, I've got 2 and I think that's excessive) or a frying pan and heat a splash of oil. Add the onions and then the rice and peas. Stir fry for a couple of minutes until the rice starts to crisp up nicely. Stir in the egg and continue to stir fry for another couple of minutes. 

And that's it, ready to serve. I've done this for about 6 or 7 people in the past and it's just as easy to do in large quantities, just increase the ingredients accordingly.

I'm doing a rotisserie chicken tomorrow, so I might even blog that as well. Just to show off the fact that I have a rotisserie oven.