Feta, Bacon & Lentil Salad - I'm back bitches

So it's been a while. I'd apologise but I've been spending too much time being super awesome (you're welcome world). Also lying about stuff (unrelated).
My sister's boyfriend asked me to send him this recipe recently which reminded me of the existence of this blog so I thought I'd post it. It's quick, easy, gluten free, flexible and can be eaten hot or cold and as a main or a side dish. It has 3 core ingredients (or 2 if you want to make it vegetarian) and a number of optionals that I add depending on what I fancy/what I'm cooking with it/whatever the fuck needs using.

Main ingredients
Green/Puy lentils (I like the Puy better for this dish as they stay firmer under longer cooking)
Smokey Bacon Lardons
Feta Cheese

Optional ingredients
Red onions
Spring greens/Chard/Spinach
Chickpeas
Olives (green or black, finely chopped gives a nice salty Umami edge)
Cherry Tomatoes
Red wine vinegar (This is actually an essential ingredient for me)
Chopped basil/chives/parsley
Stock (also essential in my opinion for extra flavour in the lentils)

(Tonight as you can see in the pictures I used spring greens, red onions and red wine vinegar)

Destructions
Rinse the lentils in cold water (about a cup is good for 2 people). Bring to boil in stock (I used ham stock. Pork or chicken is good too) or water for 2-3 minutes then reduce to a simmer. If you're using onions chop them finely. I like to soften them for a while so put them straight in the pan with a little olive oil on a very low heat for a bout 10-15 minutes. Use this time wisely to cube the feta cheese, chop any other veg you may choose to use or just watch "2 Broke Girls" like the depraved fucking cretin you are (aren't they sassy. And doesn't the casual racism gently appeal to your prejudices).

I'll wait dickface

Once the lentils are cooked but firm drain them. By this point the onions should be softened too. Turn up the heat and add the lardons and chickpeas too (if you're doing them). Once the lardons are nearly done add the lentils to the pan (along with optional greens, cooked till they're softened. You can also add olives at this point).

I'm awesome at taking iphone photo's clearly

If you're having it as a cold salad let it cool then add the feta later (and spinach, tomatoes, olives, vinegar etc.).
If you're eating it warm or as a side add half the feta and stir it in so it begins to melt and coat the lentils. Splash a little red wine vinegar (for sharp sweetness and acidity to counter the salt of the feta and the bacon) and serve sprinkling on the rest of the feta and any chopped herbs.

Serve as a side (with lamb, steak or some nice merguez is good) or as a main.

Like this...

Dedicated to Shaun. You gimp.